Me Fortress 2, Part 5

Me Fortress 2, Part 5: Now I Know Who You are...



After reentering the hallway, the three men began their search for the other members. For a moment, all was quiet, but the Engineer soon broke the silence: "So, boys...how ya like the team so far?"

The Scout responded, "Meh...they ain't bad."

The Pyro's cheerful mumbles showed he found them likeable as well.

"Well, that's good to hear. Yeah, we got a little bit of everythin' 'round here. If ya couldn't already tell, the Heavy's Russian and the Medic's German. Even the new recruits an Australian...heh, looks like the only ones that're from this country are Soldier, me...and you, Scout!"

.....He paused for a moment, appearing to have forgotten about something as he turned to the other recruit. "...Hey, Pyro...where'd ya say y'all were from?"

"Mime mumm mmmmph."

"Ohhh, that's right, that's right...plum forgot. Heh...boy, we're all a bunch a' characters down here, aren't we?"

During their conversation, the Scout noticed a dark figure approaching in the distance. Walking towards them was a tall, lean, very prestigious-looking man. Albeit he was a bit...strange, judging by his amber tuxedo complete with a striped tie and dark dress boots. But, what was most unusual about his apparel, was his face: he had a ski mask covering his head, allowing only his eyes and his mouth to peep through. It was all quite a strange choice in clothing, especially considering the fact that he was a soldier fighting in a large-scale war (but, then again, look at what team he was on).

After reaching the group, the man stopped in front of the Engineer, having a lit cigarette in his mouth. "Ah...welcome back, Engineer. It seems you have returned with our new...shipment," he stated. His accent seemed to be of a European nature...but what exact part of Europe, no one could tell.

"Yeeeee-ahhh...boys, this here's the Spy. Spy, this is the Scout and the Pyro."

"Hey."

"Mmemmo."

The Spy, glancing at the two men as he shook his cigarette, appeared completely unimpressed. "Hmph...so, THIS is who we've hired? A little boy in a baseball cap and a man who can't speak without mumbling?"

"Spy..." said the Engineer, "Be nice to the new fellers...ya know as well as I do that the BLUs could be attackin' at any day now, and we need all the help we can get."

"Hmph...very well." He turned to the two recruits once more. "I am glad you have finally arrived...and I really hope that you do not die on us right away," he added sarcastically.

"Alright, that's it. Spy...get over here." The Engineer stepped towards him, placing his hand behind the Spy to motion him away from the recruits.

After getting a few yards away, the Engineer and Spy started arguing. "Spy...what'd I just tell you?"

"What? I am being sincere...I really do hope that they survive. Just as I hope that hiring and working with them will not be a complete waste of our time and resources."

"Urgh...you really need to work on yer social skills."

"A spy's job is not to make friends."

"...True, but it ALSO ain't tryin' to make everyone yer enemy!"

"Hmph...YOU try making friends with your teammates, when you never see any of them in battle!

The Scout and Pyro stared at the two, watching their hand gestures and faces to see what they were talking about. They looked at one another, shrugging at how they weren't exactly upset that they couldn't hear what their future teammates were exactly arguing about.

"Look...just 'cause we can't really help ya fight, don't mean that we can't be pals with ya!"

"Pfft...do you really believe that is true?" The Engineer just stared back, frowning. "Look...'Engy'...you and I are quite different. You directly rely on your teammates for help...to protect your machines, and such. Your equipment assists the team in battle, as well, to protect our control points and provide ammo to the men. However, my methods of assisting our team are much more...indirect. The way I attack the enemy is through use of stealth...and I can not surprise the enemy if one of you imbesiles are interrupting me while I'm working. The only possible way you could provide any assistance to me would be if you were to...distract the enemy."

"...Whaddya mean by that, Spy?", the Engineer asked angrily.

"Hm hm hm...", the Spy laughed devilishly. "BAIT, my friend. You're only useful to me as bait."

The Engineer grabbed the Spy by his suit, shaking him violently. The two recruits saw this, and immediately rushed over.

"Now you listen here," the hard-hatted man stated, "...I've had just about enough a' you and yer selfish talk."

The Spy's expression remained unchanged. "Ah ha ha! You have quite the temper today, don't you Engy?", he replied further angering his teammate. Normally, the Engineer liked being called by his nickname. But hearing the Spy say it in such a dark tone just made his blood boil.

"...Perhaps you have been around the Soldier a little too much, hm? You two are really becoming quite the couple..."

He thrusted the Spy's back into the nearby wall, which only lengthened the Spy's smile. "You hush yer mouth," he threatened, "before I hush it for ya."

His new friends ran up to the pair's side. Neither the Scout nor the Pyro knew exactly what was going on...but they had a feeling it was the Spy that had started the commotion. "Yo, Hard-hat, what's wrong?", the Scout asked.

"Hm hm hm...yes, 'Hard-hat.' Please, tell us: what is wrong? There is no reason to lose your temper...after all, do you not want to set a good example for our new recruits?"

The Engineer, now enraged by how the Spy was trying to make him sound like the bad guy, pushed himself away from the egotistical man. The Spy began to dust off his clothes, acting as if nothing of any importance had just happened. He was certainly calm under pressure, they could give him that...

"...Nothin's wrong here, partner. All we got here is a selfish, good-fer-nothin' teammate, that's all."

"Hm hm hm," the Spy chuckled once more. "Ohhh, I am so sorry, Engineer. I did not mean to hurt your feelings..." The Spy then released his diminished cigarette, tossing it into a nearby trash can. "I was just explaining to you the truth of the matter. In fact...I was not even speaking of just you when I spoke of the usefulness of teammates. I was actually referring to our brand new recruits..."

The Scout frowned, not liking where this was going. The Spy took notice of the look on his face, and said, "For example...this young man right here. He looks to be the PERFECT teammate to cause such a skirmish. The BLUs would never know what hit them..."

Confused by his words, the Scout asked the Engineer, "Hey...what's he talkin' about?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about, partner," the problem-solver replied. "Just a bunch a' gibberish."

Unable to stay in the dark about their conversation, the Scout approached the Spy. "Hey...you sayin' stuff behind my back, man? Is that what yer doin': talkin' crap 'bout me?"

"Let it go, Scout," the Engineer suggested, ironically unable to practice what he preached.

"Just hang on, Hard-hat," interrupted the Scout. "I wanna hear what this bozo's gotta say...to my FACE."

The Spy's grin faded, as his expression returned to its blank, unreadable look from before. "...Listen to Engineer, my friend," he replied calmly. "It is nothing you should worry yourself with.

"Hey, I ain't your friend, pally!"

The Spy rolled his eyes at the Scout. "Well...", he said as he glanced at his watch, "We will have to continue with this amusing conversation some other time, for there are much more important matters I must to attend to..." He dialed his watch, and then, all of a sudden...he began to disappear!

"...Gentlemen." As soon as he finished speaking, the Spy vanished, leaving the Scout and Pyro to ponder what exactly had happened.

Relieved at his disappearance, the Scout said, "Man...glad that rat's gone."

However, while he was speaking, he heard a sound that came from behind him...what sounded like a large gust of air.

"Excuse me..."

"AH!", cried the Scout as he turned to see the uncloaked Spy standing right behind him.

".....Would any of you happen to have a light?"

The Pryo lifted his flamethrower off of his shoulder, and pointed it towards the Spy. The now-visible man pulled out another cigarette from his container, and put in his mouth, leaning his face towards the flamethrower's nozzle. The Pyro gave an incredibly quick tap of the trigger, causing an extremely small puff of fire to flare from the tip. The cigarette lit, and the Spy said to the Pyro, "Ah...thank you, my good man." He looked back at the other two men, smiling happily.

"Hmph...now HIM, I like." The Spy then made his way down the hall, slowly vanishing with every step he took. After a few seconds, the Scout and Engineer turned to the Pyro, an unhappy look coming across their faces.

"Awww, come on, Hot-head! That was yer chance to burn his sorry ass!"

The Pyro just shrugged back.



...The three men continued with their search for the other remaining team members. Unable to let go of his grudge with the Spy, the Scout couldn't help but continue to complain. "Man...what was that guy's problem?"

'Eh...that was just his way a' sayin' hi. He's a pretty stuck-up guy...but in his line a' work, he pretty much needs to be like that."

"Pfft...well, it don't look like you like him too much, either."

The Engineer frowned, knowing the Scout and Pyro had seen his true feelings about the Spy. "Well...it's kinda hard to like a guy whose job is to destroy everythin' I create..."

The Engineer pulled out his small gadget from his pocket, and showed it to the Scout and Pyro. "See this? That's all a' the equipment I got built right now in the first sector, and each a' their statuses. Everythin' seems alright right now, but if a spy wanted to, he could just sneak up on any one a' my machines and sap 'em; sap 'em 'til they're destroyed, makin' 'em god-durn useless unless I get 'em off. Spies usually tend to carry a bunch a' sappers with 'em while they work...so all they gotta do is just stick one a' them sappers on any one a' my machines...and it'll blow 'em up, straight to kingdom-come. Worst of all, there ain't nothin' I can do about it if I'm not there, and even if I was, it ain't easy to stop 'em all by myself..."

...The Engineer paused for a moment. "...After all a' the trouble I've had with BLU spies...it's just been real hard tryin' to get used to him as one a' the team."

With his little rant about the Spy complete, the Engineer continued to lead the group down the hallway. Once they finally reached its end, the group came across an unlit staircase. The Engineer flipped on the lights and began climbing down to the bottom, the two recruits following right behind him. "Alrighty, boys: time we headed down to the basement. That's probably where we'll be findin' the Demoman."

"Huh? Demoman?", asked the Scout, confused by the next team member's alias.

"Yeah, he's a specialist that deals mostly with grenades, bombs, mines...you name it. He's got automatically detonatin' grenades, that blow up after a few seconds pass, and he's even just come up with a new invention called 'sticky grenades,' or 'stickies.' They're pretty god-durn amazin', let me tell ya. Not only do they stick to any surface they touch, that includin' walls and ceilin's, but you can also detonate 'em remotely: whenever ya want!"

"Meh...they don't sound too great," mentioned the Scout.

"Heh...you'll change yer mind once ya see these things in action: they're the most dangerous weapon we've got in our arsenal, even beatin' out rockets and the Heavy's minigun! Believe me, partner: these are the most painful, damagin' weapons we got! That's why the Demoman works down here, in the protected, steel-plated basement: 'cause if somethin' blows up, we don't want it to happen up there."

"Pfft...I'll believe it when I see it."

They approached a large steel door, with a small visible peep-hole in the center. The Engineer knocked with a traditional "two-bits" tone, and shouted, "Hey! Demoman, ya in there? I got the new recruits down here, and they wanna meet ya!"

...No response. After a few moments, however, some noises were made on the other side of the door. The group could hear the movements of a chair, the noise of broken glass, and a press against the door before the sound of multiple locks being unlocked was heard. The door finally opened, revealing the unusual Demoman to the Scout and Pyro.

The man stepped out of the gloomy back room, with a bit of a stumble in his step. As he leaned against the large door, the Scout and Pyro couldn't help but stare. He appeared to be of an African ethnicity, and an eyepatch was placed over his right eye. He was wearing a large, black vest that carried several unactivated grenades, all of which made the recruits feel a bit uneasy. In fact, his entire body was covered with at least one type of body armor. However, the biggest surprise came from when he finally spoke: "Hiya, mates! It's aboot bloody time you showed up..."

.....The Demoman had a Scottish accent.....

"Hiya, Demo, mind if we come in?", the Engineer asked as he took a step forward. Although staggering, the Demoman was still able to quickly place his arm in front of the Engineer's path, now holding himself up with the edge of the doorway. "Oh, no, no, no...I can't let ya do that, laddie. Got a lot a' dangerous explosives lyin' aroond in there, just awaitin' fer one a' ya to go and be settin' 'em all off...don't wanna be blowin' up the headquarters now, do ya?" The Demoman was obviously drunk...how drunk, however, was anyone's guess.

"Uhhh...naw, course not," the Engineer replied.

"Yeah...sorry aboot that, mate, but it's far too dangerous fer ya to come bargin' on in...all fer safety reasons, a' course."

"...Uhhh...yeee-ahhh...no problem, partner. Well, anyway...I'd like ya to meet the Pyro and the Scout."

"...Nice to meet ya, man," said the Scout, trying to look away from the Demoman's single-eyed glare.

"Mmeem mmoom," added the Pyro.

"Glad to have ya on the team, mates," stuttered the Demoman. "Well...I don't wanna be rushin' anythin', but I gotta finish up what I'm doin' down here before the meetin' starts up. Don't wanna be sittin' down in front a' the Boss, havin' a grand ol' time, just to have a big ol', 'KABLOOEY!' go off."

"Heh...yeah, we get ya, partner. See ya in a bit." The Demoman gave a quick wave to the men before slowly turning back into his room, holding himself up as he went. As the group left the basement, they could hear the Demoman locking up his door again..."fer safety reasons, a' course." The three soldiers then headed back up to the meeting room, where the briefing would soon begin.....